The Lifestyle CEO

Self-Care for Busy Entrepreneurs | Why Traditional Wellness Tips Aren't Working For You

• Christina Gough & Dr Katie Stirling • Season 4 • Episode 13

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Tired of cookie-cutter self-care advice that doesn't fit your busy life?

In this episode of The Lifestyle CEO Podcast, Katie (Clinical Psychologist) and Christina (Marketing Expert) break down why traditional self-care advice often fails entrepreneurs and share realistic alternatives that actually work.

Listen to:

  1. Why meditation isn't the only path to mindfulness
  2. How to find presence in unexpected places (like building Lego!)
  3. Simple ways to incorporate self-care into your workday
  4. Why rushing through life might be hurting your business
  5. Practical tips for protecting your energy while running a business

Whether you're struggling with traditional meditation or just need more realistic self-care strategies, this episode offers fresh perspectives on maintaining well-being while building a successful business.

Want more strategies for building a business that supports your life? Make sure to subscribe to The Lifestyle CEO for weekly episodes on creating success on your own terms.

Website: www.lifestyleceo.co.uk
Instagram: @thelifestyleceo.podcast
Christina: @itschristinagough
Katie: @drkatiestarling
TikTok: @thelifestyleceo.podcast

Speaker 1:

Welcome to the Lifestyle CEO, a community designed for women looking to take their life into their own hands and redefine what success looks like for them.

Speaker 2:

I'm Katie a clinical psychologist and couple therapist, I'm passionate about connecting you with the tools you need to create the life and relationship you want.

Speaker 1:

And I'm Christina, a marketing and business expert who has built her life around giving herself and those around her the ability to choose what their lifestyle looks like for them Together.

Speaker 2:

We have created the podcast for women just like us who are looking to redefine what success looks like for them and enjoy a lifestyle that they love. Hi Hi Sorry. That was a really weird.

Speaker 1:

Hi Sorry that was a really weird high.

Speaker 2:

We're feeling extra high today we're feeling very high. Oh my goodness, how are you?

Speaker 1:

I'm good. How are you Really good? Thank you. Yeah, it's been a good week back in Bali, feeling much more organized and on top of my life again and just um, do you know, what it's really brought to my attention is the importance of like carving out time for self-care, like, yes, I think that, um, in England especially maybe I don't know why, but I just obviously was all over the place with my routine and I just completely gave up any sort of self-care routine unless I could like really rush it or kind of it was very reactive, I guess.

Speaker 2:

So important to be proactive, isn't it? With self-care, like I think it's, it's one of those things that we can wait till. We're like super stressed and overwhelmed, but being proactive is so important.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, exactly, and I feel like there's. You know, we all think about self-care as like, oh, have a bath or put on a face mask, but it's just, you know, obviously that's lovely and I enjoy all of those things, but it's really about figuring out other kind of holistic practices. I guess that really help that mindset, you know, and take you back down to feeling calmer, feeling more at peace within yourself. And I think it's a real test and learn thing for people, because it's not just a one size fits all. It's all about, like, what works for you and how can you implement that into your day-to-day routine.

Speaker 2:

Absolutely. I think I love when you're talking about that holistic wellness, because I think that we can get so focused on just one aspect of self-care and fail to recognize that self-care is about, like, our health and our well-being, but it's also about our relationships and it's also about our business and how we work in our business and how we take care of ourselves. Excited to talk about that today.

Speaker 1:

I know I love that. I feel like it will be really interesting to learn about, like each other's self care tips as well, because, like I say, it's it's it's so individual, I think. And like some people talk a lot about meditating and you know, uh, other other examples and and I know a lot of people just say I can't meditate, like it just doesn't work for me, and I think that's fine. And like I was thinking about the fact that on Instagram we get, or any social media we get, so overwhelmed with all of these different practices we should be implementing into our day-to-day and you kind of like maybe forget the reason that you're doing these things, because if they're not working for you, then it's like that's not really the purpose of self-care. It's a bit redundant then.

Speaker 1:

So I feel like it's nice to be inspired by others, but really taking time to like figure out what does actually work for you.

Speaker 2:

Absolutely, and I think also thinking about like that changes over time, doesn't it? And also thinking about like those different areas is really key, because I think sometimes you're right, when we think about self-care, we can think about massages and full disclosure. That is definitely part of my self-care routine, because I love a massage.

Speaker 2:

I'm obsessed, but that's not the be all and end all and that's not what everyone needs. That's just me and my own personal thing and it is a bit of a mindfulness activity for me. But it is about kind of checking in with yourself and seeing you know a little bit of what am I missing? What do I need in order to you know whether that be happy, whether it be feeling well, whether it be feeling good in your relationship, whether it be feeling good in your business. But it's so individual and I agree, like I think, that we can get overwhelmed by looking at others' self-care routines and think, okay, I've got to get up at 6am, I've got to go to the gym, I've got to eat this type of food, I've got to do a journal, I've got to relax, I've got to meditate. You know there's a whole list of things that we have to adopt and that can just make us more stressed out Exactly.

Speaker 1:

It just becomes completely redundant and beside the point, essentially, doesn't it? And I do, I think that. I mean, I'm sure everyone knows things that they do to feel good, but sometimes those things can actually be like, you know, sitting in front of the TV or spending some time scrolling which actually is potentially not the greatest use of your self-care time.

Speaker 1:

Um, like I certainly know, for me, if I, you know, get into a TikTok scroll hole or even like, watch a bit too much TV, like it can really affect my mental state. Um, I don't know if I'm just more sensitive to content, don't know, but that's definitely a thing, like you know, even if, like, music can really heavily affect you. You just are more sensitive to stuff. So, like I cannot watch bad, like scary films or sad films, because it really messes with my mental state. Um, and I just think it's really understanding that about yourself, like maybe not sitting for half an hour in front of the tv at the end of the day, and so like, for me, one of the things I've adopted this year is I've started building Lego.

Speaker 2:

Oh, I remember that. I love that. That is such a mindful practice, because you're so present and it's intricate, I love it yeah.

Speaker 1:

Yeah. So for Christmas I actually got like a proper like adult Lego set, like a lovely japanese garden set, and it takes like every day I can work on it if I have, you know, some time that I need to really like wind down or whatever, and I think it's stuff like that like think outside the box a bit like would any other 33 year old woman admit to doing lego?

Speaker 2:

I don't know, but here of course, there's nothing wrong with lego. It's amazing. Yes, I I love that you highlight the stuff about tv, though, because I think also tv can be okay, like I think, when we we you know social media tv, of course, when we're talking about in extreme, as you said, if we're watching hours on end, it can start to affect our mental health and can be really unhealthy.

Speaker 2:

but also sometimes we do need to shut off and that is okay, like sometimes our brains, like I, actually just need to shut off and we're not in a space Like numba bam.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, we're not in a space where we can get into a meditative state because we are a bit switched on. So maybe that is our transition to then being able to relax, which is okay. And I know you know you're talking about tv and the shows that you watch. When I'm doing therapy, I can't watch anything heavy. So when I used to have the practice and was doing therapy you know, five days a week, I just couldn't, I didn't want to watch anything real. You know, even fake real.

Speaker 2:

I wanted to watch like Andy would make fun of me because I'd watch like teen shows.

Speaker 1:

I remember you saying this.

Speaker 2:

I think Shows made for teenagers that are just, you know life's all happy and great and like it's all good, and you know that's what I needed sometimes. At the end of the day it was like a 30 minute kind of like just disconnect from some of the harsh realities of life and just live in this little bubble for 30 minutes where you know families were blissfully happy and kids went to school. They all got along yeah, because it was.

Speaker 2:

I just need a little bit of an escape from reality, just to then do something else that might help me.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, and I totally agree with that. Like I was talking to my sister about it yesterday, because obviously for me in Bali I work in the evenings and sometimes I just cannot go from being on a meeting till 11 pm to getting into bed and reading a book. Like I need at least 10 minutes of just numbing my brain a bit, scrolling through stupid content. And I guess that's where I'm very mindful about the content I have on my social media channels, just because obviously you can end up with some pretty horrific stuff or just not great stuff. So I've really tried to, you know, unfollow stuff which doesn't resonate or makes me feel some sort of way, and then it's exactly like with the tv just picking something that's just not gonna cause any sort of cortisol spike, I guess, guess in my brain and just, yeah, enjoying it a bit and I think that's it, it's. You know, we've got all these amazing technology tools at our fingertips which can do good and bad, and it's just being mindful about how we utilize that.

Speaker 2:

You know when you said too before about mindfulness. I think there's a lot of misunderstandings about what mindfulness and meditation is and looks like. So obviously meditation is being more in that meditative state, but mindfulness can be playing your lego, or sorry, do you call it playing?

Speaker 1:

or is it?

Speaker 2:

or am I just like you know, I just kind of made you.

Speaker 1:

I like calling it play. Like that is cool because it is play, but I would say building. But it is okay, I like play because it's more fun, right. I agree.

Speaker 2:

But I think that that's what mindfulness is. Mindfulness is being present. So if it for you, you really struggle to kind of switch off that overthinking, then going straight into something like meditation will be really difficult. Meditation takes a lot of practice. It's a skill that you need to develop over time. So in my experience, a lot of people will say to me I can't meditate, and it's the first time they've tried, or the second time or the third time. Well, of course, like you have to kind of train your brain to get into that meditative state. But mindfulness, on the other hand, is about just you can just do those things that help you to be more present. That then may lead to being in a more meditative state.

Speaker 2:

So, whether that be Lego, whether that be coloring, painting, even reading, to a certain degree, like doing those activities that just help slow your brain down, refocus you to the present moment are really healthy and really important.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I really like that and I think you know meditation, so I feel like guided meditations are a really good way to start and I even listen to them occasionally, like when I'm on walks, because I think again, if you're walking for, like, your kind of self-care which is of course an incredible practice, but you can end up with a wandering mind, which is of course an incredible practice, but you can end up with a wandering mind, which is fine as well. But sometimes actually having some sort of guided meditation on or something just to kind of focus your thoughts can be a really nice way to make that walk feel quite well.

Speaker 1:

It kind of brings you back to the present right, because you're sort of really taking focus of your walk rather than, like your mind being on all the business things you have to do or all the kids tasks you have to do absolutely, and I think that at the start, we all need that guided meditation, don't we?

Speaker 2:

because it is about giving you something to focus on first, rather than just trying to expect your mind to completely switch off when you haven't learned how to do that, you don't have the skill, or sometimes even too, when you are just in a more stressed state, like it's really hard to switch, switch off so quickly for sure.

Speaker 1:

So let's look at it from like the different aspects of our life. So from like a business perspective. How would you think we can like introduce a bit more self care in that regard?

Speaker 2:

you know, last week, when we were talking about that scheduling of meetings and like adding that extra 15 minutes, I think that think that can be such a simple and great way to start taking care of yourself in your work, because I think quite often we think about self care, we think about activities that we need to do, so we think about like doing yoga or doing this activity, but self care is also about like taking care of ourselves in the day to day moments and structuring some of those opportunities to have some downtime into our day.

Speaker 2:

So last week, when we were talking about that 15 minutes, I love that we're talking about, you know, maybe spending five minutes just kind of wrapping up from the meeting and jotting down any tasks or any takeaways, actions that you need to do, and then actually having 10 minutes for yourself just to you know, whether it be sit there and drink a glass of water or just sit there and be or take a little walk and I know I used to do that because you know therapy is obviously very much like slot hour to hour. You would find me in my therapy room laying on the floor, you know, quite often doing a stretch in between, or sometimes I would just literally lay on the floor and breathe like full flat on the floor.

Speaker 2:

Just lay on the floor and just, you know, just take a moment to ground myself and, you know, transition into the next person that was coming through the door.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, because I guess in a therapy as well, you're taking on a lot of other people's energy, like in that room, you know. It's sort of like obviously, as you said, it can be quite um, I guess tough conversations you're having and actually it's, and then to go straight into another person would just be so overwhelming for your nervous system yeah, so it is taking that time, just a transition, I think, is really important but the funny thing is actually like I, for me, find therapy is something that actually keeps me really present, because when I'm in a session I'm not thinking about anything else.

Speaker 2:

I don't have to attend to anything else. I'm fully focused on the person in front of me and that's all you know. That's my whole world in that moment is just being present, in that moment with that person. So I actually think it helped me to become more present in my life.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I was going to say that's amazing because I think a lot of times, people who work on the laptop or you know, in an office you do tend to be jumping around tasks quite a lot because it's just there, you know, or you see a notification pop up, you'll jump and look at that email or whatever it may be, but actually you're right in in therapy, you're.

Speaker 1:

You can't be on a laptop, obviously. You. You're literally fully focused, and I think that's actually a really interesting skill that we need to learn how to implement into, like other roles, I think, and just to be able to be fully present on the task at hand, which is definitely something I struggle with a lot, because I'm just sort of like want to get everything done, like, you know, how can I do this the most efficiently? So, yeah, I really liked that idea actually, and it is, you know, it's about turning notifications off and not having your phone in the room and probably wearing headphones while you're working, all of these amazing things. And again, that's sort of a version of self-care, where you're just sort of protecting that piece in your brain to give you some focus, right, and I think that's definitely something I'm going to work on this year is just trying to be fully present and focused at the task at hand.

Speaker 2:

I think that's so important because you're actually giving yourself time to, you know, overstimulating yourself and you're giving yourself time to regulate and just that thing of kind of like blocking out the noise, like literally the headphones or, you know, having those set times to work on key tasks and not allowing yourself to kind of check the phone. I think that's part of the issue in today's society is that we are expected to be on our phones all the time, all the time, and you know I'm notoriously bad with my phone.

Speaker 2:

Sorry, um, I am, though, because I literally am not a person that is on my phone all the time and I love that being doing therapy.

Speaker 2:

I never had my phone, um, and you know all my emergency stuff would just be redirected to Andy, because I'm not going to be picking up a phone in session. If something happens with the kids, someone needs to come in and get me out. So I think and I think that's also a bit of my personality Like I just want to be in the moment with someone, I just want to be doing something. I don't want to be like responding and jumping off into different directions.

Speaker 2:

But you know there's a balance in that. I probably need to get better with my phone, but I think you know that idea of not having to. You know, just turning your notifications off. So yeah, have set times, even if it is you're in a role where you have to regularly check communication. Just have you know the first five minutes of the hour that you do that and then you go go back into your focus mode yeah, yeah, I really like that.

Speaker 1:

We had that.

Speaker 1:

I think there's a I can't remember what it was called but there was a system we used to have, an old agency I worked for and it was like you'd have a focus hour, then you'd have a admin hour then, or admin however long, and then there were sort of three different buckets.

Speaker 1:

It was sort sort of like deep work, admin, and then more kind of smaller tasks that you could, you know, you could complete a few in an hour, and we used to literally color block our calendar for these things. But the whole agency was kind of taking shifts, so someone could always be replying to clients while someone else was doing deep work. You know, be replying to clients while someone else was doing deep work, you know, um, and I actually really like that and I, you know, we always come back to this, but it's all about scheduling to allow you to be present. So it's like it feels like oh my god, another thing I have to schedule, another thing I need to think about. But actually I feel like once you've got all these things in place, your life would just be running so smoothly and like everything's sort of.

Speaker 1:

It sounds a bit counterproductive, scheduling self-care, but actually it's, it is important and it really works for then, allowing yourself that peace of mind to think right now I can actually take this this time and I was thinking about this this morning, like in England especially, but even before in Bali, like even taking a shower and getting ready for the day I would rush so quickly because it was just like oh, I've got to do the packed lunches, I've got to get the kids to school, doesn't matter what I look like, and then you're kind of setting your whole day up to fail because you're just like you don't really feel that proud, you don't really feel that kind of great about yourself, and then you kind of go into every task for that day feeling a bit less I don't know what the word is sparkly, let's say so.

Speaker 1:

You're therefore not like giving your best. You know what I mean, whereas I think if you start the day on the right foot, like I'm going to take some time to get ready and look nice for the day, everything else sort of feels a lot easier. Then, and I think, especially as women, potentially as mothers, we kind of think oh, that's not that important, so I'll let myself go in that regard.

Speaker 2:

I love that you call it sparkly. Can we just circle back to that?

Speaker 2:

because I thought you were gonna say like prepared or organized, but you're like less sparkly. But I love that, because I think that's what it is about is having a bit of a sparkle, having a bit of joy in it, isn't it? It isn't just about planning and preparation, organization, but it's actually taking that time to take care of you and feel good in yourself and not feel rushed and, yeah, to have a moment to. I think when we're in that space too, we're more present. We can have joy in those little moments, like there's little interactions with you know, it doesn't become about getting the kids out the doors, that we can put some music on, have a little dance, and you know, because we're not rushing through it.

Speaker 1:

I love that and I think that is such a good thing to reflect on is like the joy in it, because I think sometimes, when we enjoy something, we think we're being selfish and actually for some reason we think we should put that on the back burner to meet everyone's else, everyone else's needs. But actually I mean it might mean that you have to get up a bit earlier or whatever, so you have that time to get yourself ready. But I also think it's like not apologizing, that you want to look nice or put some time into your appearance or just shower but, you know, I just and I hate the fact that I feel like I'm always rushing.

Speaker 1:

So I'm really taking time now to think what am I rushing for? Because most of the time I don't actually need to rush, I'm just rushing because we feel like we need to complete all these tasks so quickly, but actually taking, you know, a bit of a longer shower to just really enjoy and be in the moment, or take some time to put on a little bit of makeup or brush your hair or whatever it may be and I think in hot weather this is actually harder, ironically because you just think, oh my, I have, like, what is the point in doing my hair? Because it will just end up being like curly or, like you know, frizzy and sweaty in no time. But I just think it does make a little bit of difference to how you start your day.

Speaker 2:

Totally. You know, it's interesting that rushing concept, because I think that's such a societal issue, isn't it, that we're just so go, go, go. And I think, especially you know, as women with kids, you can get so caught in that trap of like come on, hurry up, let's go. Okay, eat the breakfast, get in the car, pack the bags, let's go, let's go, let's go. And it's the whole time is like rush, rush, rush, rush, rush. And I actually remember when we, you know, sort of in the transition moving to Bali, and my daughter sort of saying to me like mom, why do we have to hurry, why do we always have to hurry for everything?

Speaker 2:

And I was like, oh, it was such a light bulb moment of just realizing how I had programmed that into her that like, whenever we're leaving the house we've got to rush, rush, rush. Know, in Bali it really shift, like I really shifted that mentality around. Actually we don't need to rush, we can just get ready and leave, and then you know, if we that does mean that you're a couple of minutes late, so be it, it doesn't matter. But I think that we get so caught in this idea of like we have to just be as productive and as efficient every step of the process of life.

Speaker 1:

I was thinking about that today as well, actually, because I do agree, like I know I'm a hyper obsessive like organizer, but I actually don't really want to pass that trait on to my children. And I agree, like that comes with this state of like always being in a hurry, and I just like why are we rushing of like always being in a hurry? And I just like, why are we rushing like what? Why would I want my children to feel stressed and rushed all the time? So I'm really trying, I mean again, obviously there is certain things that you have to be like on time for. So there are going to be occasions if you wake up late or whatever, but most of the time you can just take the extra five minutes just to sort of do everything calmly, because in the end, actually, you probably end up doing things a bit more efficiently anyway. Like I swear, children know when you're in a rush, so they deliberately slow everything down.

Speaker 1:

And I've, actually I was. I noticed this at bedtime, which obviously there's no end point to apart from the fact you really want your children to go to bed or to sleep. But I found that I was always sort of rushing through like okay, bath time brush teeth, get into bed, read a story, done, done, done, done. And actually recently I've really taken the time to just lie with them for like an hour after they go to bed and just chat to them about their day and like the conversations we've had have just been incredible and fine. They might be going to bed a bit later, but really like that time is so special and like, okay, sometimes I have to rush off to do a meeting or whatever, but if I don't have that, then I really just want to spend that time with the children, because you don't get many moments like that really with them during the day.

Speaker 2:

I had a real realization like that too, actually, when I was just taking Chloe to the shops the other day and just realized how the conversations that you have in those moments, when you have the one-on-one time and you have time just to chat and just to be present in the moment, and the questions they ask and the things that they bring up which, when we're in such a rush state, we just don't have those opportunities for them to kind of for them to think and for them to ask, and for them to connect with us.

Speaker 2:

It's so important.

Speaker 1:

And you know we do. Sorry, no, you go. I was just thinking of one of the conversations Logan tried to have with me last night about how the earth was made by the gods, and it was like nine o'clock.

Speaker 2:

And I was like no, no, we're not going to do that conversation right now we've been having a lot of god conversation too. Actually, I think it's Bali, because it is. They learn a lot about um for our community. They learn a lot about all of the different religions which.

Speaker 1:

I love and everything is celebrated.

Speaker 2:

So there is just this kind of real figuring it out kind of perspective around culture and religion and all the things. So there's so many questions about that which is really in really enjoyable to be able to unpack with them yeah, yeah, not at nine o'clock at night.

Speaker 2:

You know what you were saying before about like the rushing. I was just thinking. You know, andy and I had a conversation recently about even when you are time poor, because, let's be realistic, like a lot of us, you know, people listening are time poor. They are in a bit of a rush. They're trying to get from, you know, home, to drop off, to work, whatever, whatever it may be, and so I fully appreciate that that sometimes there isn't that time to to take the opportunities that we're talking about, but that you can shift the way that you interact in those moments. So we were talking about just reflecting on our own parenting around, rather than saying to them we've got to go, we've got to go. It's just like just communicate what they need to do next. So you know, can you go get dressed or can you do this Because just saying to them hey, we need to rush, we need to go, go, go.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, it's not helpful.

Speaker 2:

It's not helpful. It's just creating stress and it's actually not moving you toward where you want to go anywhere. It's not anyway. It's not kind of getting a task completed. So I think sometimes it is just shifting the mindset.

Speaker 1:

Um in the way we approach things yeah, and I've definitely noticed with children in particular, like when they know what they need to do, they are pretty good at doing it.

Speaker 1:

Like I think we sometimes assume that they understand that every day we go to school, every day we have to get dressed, every day we do, but they don't really know that well, they might obviously start learning it, but I think so for me I started laying out the clothes for them because Logan especially really likes getting himself dressed in the morning. So like just by laying the clothes out and then kind of having you know the stuff ready to make breakfast or whatever, he can really just understand the steps that we're going through every day and like just it makes him more comfortable to know. Like, ok, I know what I'm putting on, I know what I'm doing, whatever it is. And I just think that we all are comforted by routine, right, especially children, and I think maybe we assume a bit too much that they know what's happening when they obviously don't. So just kind of bringing them in, exactly as you said, bringing them into what the process is and what we're expecting, rather than just like, guys, we need to go what is happening.

Speaker 2:

And remembering. They need moments for self-care too.

Speaker 1:

You know, we all need self-care.

Speaker 2:

We all need those moments to take care of ourselves. It's been such a great discussion talking about self-care and it really has been nice to kind of reflect for myself on the areas that I need to prioritise and really remembering that self-care is not just about doing those nice things like massages or or going away for weekends, but it is in the everyday moments, in taking care of our wellbeing, our health and making those business decisions and those work decisions. To carve out the time in the way that we plan, the way that we prioritize, the way that we interact in our work or our workplace is so important in terms of taking care of ourselves.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, and I think I just I'm fascinated by these topics and I'd really love to hear from other like people about what their self-care routines might look like and like what they might consider implementing now, maybe after hearing some of our practices. But, yeah, it's been so interesting, great to chat to you and see you next week. See you next week. You're ready to create a life on your terms. Join us every week and make sure to like and subscribe to keep up to date with new episodes. All the links to keep in touch with us are in the bio.

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Christina Gough

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Dr Katie Stirling

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