The Lifestyle CEO

The Death of Traditional Networking | Why Gen Z & Millennials Are Doing It Differently

• Christina Gough & Dr Katie Stirling • Season 4 • Episode 14

Share episode

Send us a text

Tired of forced networking events and meaningless business card exchanges? 

Learn why authentic connections are replacing traditional networking, and how the post-pandemic world is reshaping the way we build meaningful relationships - both personally and professionally.

In this episode, we dive deep into:

  1. Why Gen Z craves face-to-face connection more than Boomers
  2. How to build authentic relationships without the pressure of traditional networking
  3. The rise of niche communities and interest-based connections
  4. Why digital-first doesn't mean digital-only
  5. Creative ways to network that don't feel like "networking"
  6. Building genuine connections while working remotely

Whether you're a freelancer feeling isolated, a professional seeking meaningful connections, or someone looking to expand their circle authentically, this episode reveals how to create natural relationships in today's rapidly changing world.

Join Christina and Katie as they share their experiences and insights on building genuine connections that lead to both business opportunities and meaningful friendships.

Website: www.lifestyleceo.co.uk
Instagram: @thelifestyleceo.podcast
Christina: @itschristinagough
Katie: @drkatiestarling
TikTok: @thelifestyleceo.podcast

Speaker 1:

Welcome to the Lifestyle CEO, a community designed for women looking to take their life into their own hands and redefine what success looks like for them.

Speaker 2:

I'm Katie a clinical psychologist and couples therapist, I'm passionate about connecting you with the tools you need to create the life and relationship you want.

Speaker 1:

And I'm Christina, a marketing and business expert who has built her life around giving herself and those around her the ability to choose what their lifestyle looks like for them Together.

Speaker 2:

We have created the podcast for women just like us who are looking to redefine what success looks like for them and enjoy a lifestyle that they love. Hello, hello, how are you doing? You look lovely.

Speaker 1:

Thank you, so do you, and, as usual, your background is just looking stunning.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, very lucky on the Mornington Peninsula. It's beautiful here.

Speaker 1:

So beautiful. I just I mean, it looks like. Is it cloudy? Is there a storm rolling in?

Speaker 2:

or is that just? It is very cloudy. Actually it does look a little bit like a storm coming in. I'm not sure, but it's a bit moody.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, stunning Love it? Not sure, but it's yeah, it's a bit moody. Yeah, stunning love it. Yeah, we've had lots of storms in bali, actually, um, which is well not that. Apparently it was pretty rainy during december, but we had a couple since we've been back which I'm not mad about. It's pretty hot otherwise. Um, yeah, I'm not mad about it. England was terribly rainy, um, but I think I talked about this before because I've been really reflecting a lot on and this actually relates back to our self-care episode last week as well but, um, I've been trying to journal and reflect a lot on what I learned in England and what I'd like to implement here, and one of those big things was obviously a lot of my network is in England and I, because I'm still a member of a couple of membership clubs in London, I definitely did a lot more networking while I was back.

Speaker 1:

That was one of my real key goals for being back in London is just to start either kind of meeting up with old contacts or establishing new ones. Establishing new ones and obviously that's a bit trickier in Bali because I'm just not sure there's like maybe the business network set up as much as in London, but there's definitely more kind of creative groups, hobby groups, friendship groups, all of that sort of thing. So that's really something that I want to focus on for this year. I mean, I did quite a lot of it already in Bali, but I think it's something that I really miss about living in England, and that's one of my reflections is like how can I introduce this a bit more into my lifestyle here?

Speaker 2:

I think it's that structure network or networks by theme.

Speaker 2:

So I know for me living in Bali like it just didn't have that health professional network so there weren't other psychologists or health professionals, whereas here there's real structures around, like, and it's really important that mental health professionals kind of catch up together and have what we call peer supervision. So in Bali, I think, there is like a lot of networks, but it's very focused on like Bali-based business or entrepreneurial business in a different kind of way. So it's not. Yeah, I think those networks that we have at home are a little bit different, aren't they, than the ones that are available in Bali.

Speaker 1:

Definitely and I think certainly the ones that I've found from like a personal hobby perspective. They've been amazing for connecting me with people who are like-minded, because I think you know networking is so underrated as a skill and as a output or as something to do with your time. I think you know we've gone into this digital first world really and obviously as much as we really really champion the flexible working movement and I certainly am not saying people need to be in the office every day to network I do think we need to still push ourselves to find networking events that we can go to like only ones that are obviously really aligned to what we're trying to get out of them.

Speaker 1:

But I think that it's more on us now, as women particularly, but just as a general population, to push ourselves to go out there, Whereas if you were in the office you'd probably do it a bit more naturally. And I just think, people, it's a skill that's probably being forgotten a bit and I worry that maybe with the next kind of batch of employees coming into the workforce that that's just not something that's going to be part of their skill set anymore.

Speaker 2:

I don't know. I feel like as a society, we're actually at a real turning point, because I think that we had, you know, obviously everything was face-to-face. It was very much like you go to a physical event, you catch up with people physically, you have meetings physically and then, whether you were already doing this before COVID or everyone went through that transition into COVID. We went very much online. All the networking events were online. It really seemed to stay that way. But I think, you know, I think as a society, we're going through a real shifting point now, where people are kind of, you know, debating the balance of like work, how much we can work at home, how much we need to go in the office. But even bigger than that, I think, is how much time we want to spend online versus how much time we want to spend face to face, and realizing that, although there's a lot of flexibility that comes with being online, there's obviously we don't have all the travel or those extra things that we need to do to get somewhere.

Speaker 2:

We're missing that connection.

Speaker 1:

And.

Speaker 2:

I think you can, of course, connect online, but there's nothing like being in a room with people and I think in terms of networking or being at events where there is like multiple different people. Obviously, like when we're aligned, we have each other's undivided attention.

Speaker 2:

But if there was someone else in that room right now I can't go up to them because I'm taking the screen over there, whereas you know you can make very authentic natural connections with people, where you just kind of start a conversation and there is just that connection in the moment, or if there isn't you can kind of move on to the next person yeah, so. So I think I actually think people were going to move more towards hey, let's get back to face-to-face and let's have those face-to-face connections and use the online mediums for other things, like meetings and all those things that allow the flexibility. But there's an element of needing that face-to-face connection.

Speaker 1:

I agree, I was actually at a really interesting event for one of our clients when I I was back in London and they were they're an events agency and they were talking about this sort of so they do a lot of events for like HR directors who are looking for internal employee engagement, and they were saying there's such there's really interesting assumptions around what a Gen Z employee would want versus what a boomer would want.

Speaker 1:

Perhaps, and actually we would assume that the boomer wants more face-to-face and the Gen Z wants it online.

Speaker 1:

But it's kind of the opposite where the boomer obviously probably has more family obligations, so actually being online is easier, whereas the Gen Z is really craving that face-to-face interaction and to be able to learn from their peers, meet people, have those in-depth conversations, like all of that sort of stuff. And I think you're right, there's a lot of generalized assumptions that are perhaps not correct about all these different sort of types of people and what they may want. But I definitely think and obviously where we focus more on, like the freelancers who we assume love the fact that they can be remote, they can be nomadic, but actually there's this real wanting for like more authentic connection, whether that's from potential clients, other freelancers, all of that sort of thing. So I agree, I think we'll definitely see more of these sort of events popping up to help people kind of with those connections. But it has to be really relevant to what they want and what they need from their specific career or hobby or interest, whatever it may be.

Speaker 2:

I agree. I think there's a real shift from that feeling of like I need to go to this event to I want to go to this event and that authenticity around the relationship. So it's not just like I'm going to go to this event and hand out 50 business cards. It's actually want to go to this event and connect with people who are like-minded, because there is a number of added benefits of networking. It's not just about connecting to someone for the work, so it's not just about I'm going to find my clients here.

Speaker 2:

It is about you know, learning from people, it's about creativity, it's about having fun, you know, and walking away feeling like your cup is full. So I think those are the things that people are looking for when they go to those events, as opposed to just. This is another tick the box I need to do, and I'm going to try, and you know, chat with as many people in the room as I possibly can.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I agree, and I think it's definitely a test and learn again of, like, what you want from an event and what works for you.

Speaker 1:

I know, if I was. You know the old style networking events where you're in these huge conference halls and it's like booths all around the edge and you go. You can't walk five seconds at a time and be like shoving a tote bag full of crap in your hands or something. You end up just going home with so much stuff and having had no conversations of any relevancy. And then you know, I mean, and I think if you could interlace that with some really interesting like activities on talks and opportunities for like a coffee together or something, and just not make it so forced, then yeah, that would be absolutely fine.

Speaker 1:

But I think there's these beautiful like niche small communities that are popping up that are doing these beautiful events, where there is a bit of like icebreaker activities, I guess, but it's kind of all focused around a bit of a creative outlet or I don't know, just something fun that gets people chatting, gets people a bit more comfortable, and then there is an opportunity to talk about your business, maybe, see if there's not just necessarily a client relationship but maybe a business partner relationship or someone that can help you with your existing business, whatever it may be, but just do it in a much more natural, authentic way, like I think we don't just have to be like in our business suits going to a business event, talking about business, you know, it's just like let's just make it a bit more authentic, a bit more fun, a bit more natural, I suppose.

Speaker 2:

It's so important. It's funny I was just thinking because, as a psychologist, we have this thing called supervision. So supervision is like a requirement of our registration. It's basically it's kind of like PD, I guess, if I'm thinking in your language, where we get together and we talk about cases, obviously de-identified, so we don't share confidential information, but it's all about kind of upskilling us because we're in a room all day just with our clients, so there is not really a feedback process like you get in other workplaces. This is why supervision is so important in terms of developing as a health professional, and so we also have this thing called peer supervision. So we might have like group supervision or we might have structured one-on-one supervision, but then we also have what we call peer supervision, which is, you know, like with our peers, and again we can still talk about cases et cetera, but it may be less structured.

Speaker 2:

And one of the things that I did down here before I went away was we had a small group of perinatal psychologists and we'd get together and have dinner and have those conversations and it's just that thing of moving it away from just being this thing like, I guess, from having one outcome. It wasn't just about the professional. It was also about the connection and also about getting together and drawing a meal together and having those conversations and learning and doing the professional development that we needed, but in a more meaningful, authentic, natural way. And then afterwards, you know, having a daily brief just about normal life stuff and the challenges of the work that we do and those sort of things. I think that you know. I think it's really about how do you create those opportunities to connect with people that meet multiple needs and not being so focused on just one outcome. Yeah, you know, because different things will meet different needs for you.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I love that and I think it's not having an assumption or an expectation around it. I think I remember the days when I worked for an agency and you would be sent off to these networking events with the aim of bringing back new business prospects, and it was so much pressure I mean bear in mind I was probably only 21 at the time as well there was so much pressure around it and you can't really enjoy yourself then or start kind of meaningful conversations because you're literally just thinking, oh my God, I need to find 10 new business prospects and it's just so stressful. And I just feel like actually a lot of the business I've had through formation and obviously even our podcast and our business with the Lifestyle CEO has come from the most authentic, no expectation kind of conversations which have just naturally come to a point where it's like this makes sense, you know.

Speaker 1:

And I just think that's the much. It's a much nicer way of doing business but also just building genuine connections, than if you're literally just going in as a right must have my sales head on today and it just all comes across so fake and like not authentic anyway.

Speaker 2:

Um, so yeah it's making me think about dating.

Speaker 2:

I know that's a weird segue, but you know how people approach dating like kind of with this checklist of like you know I need to achieve this, like the end goal being a relationship and the person needs to have.

Speaker 2:

And I think when we go into anything with those expectations, and almost the expectation we're setting up is that I want this no matter what. So, no matter what I'm in. So you know, when you're talking about that 10 businesses that you have to find, it's like I'm just going to find them. I don't care who they are, what quality of relationship this is. But now I think, as you evolve you know you're obviously 21 then or whether we're dating, we evolve that we're actually looking for the quality of a relationship, and that applies to business too. We're looking at you know we've talked before about when you have clients where it's creating more work for you than it's sort of worth because there's an extra load, because it's just not a good fit. So it is about going into those situations, as you said, just open-minded and just sort of having the conversations, seeing if there's any opportunities that work for both of you to collaborate on something or to work together on something, but going in with less expectation and more exploration, more curiosity about you know what?

Speaker 2:

is possible, what might work for each of us, and you know just having what might work for each of us, and you know, just having that conversation and finding your way through it yeah, and I love this right.

Speaker 1:

So I was talking to one of my friends who is in England and she is like, uh, she's kind of one of she's not got any children yet, basically, and she was saying, you know, at our age really, most people have got married well, not most people, but most of her friends anyway have got married, are starting to have children, etc. And she's just not there, she's got a partner, but she's just not really in that space, which is fine. And she was like it's really hard to make friends at our age who are. You know, really, where we make most of our friends is in the school playground, you, you know, to be honest, and Bali is better at it, I think, because a lot more expats are out.

Speaker 2:

I was just picturing us actually on the school playground when you said that it's like when were we at the playground?

Speaker 1:

Yeah, sorry, that is such an English thing to say, no, I love it. I don't even feel like I saw you at school, did I? But actually we met through the school with whatever capacity.

Speaker 2:

I know what you're saying we should have gone to the playground though.

Speaker 1:

I don't even think there was a playground, was there?

Speaker 1:

Anyway, what she's been doing is using, like the apps for friendships, which is like I think Bumble do it and stuff like that, and she's made this incredible network of like-minded women that actually want to do stuff that she wants to do, like going to the theater, cooking, trying the new things, like going to the opera I think they were doing and I just feel like that's such an amazing idea and like I think in our heads we feel like it's an event that we have to go to to meet people. But actually there are also really amazing online tools for networking where it's not just like a one event done. You can sort of exactly like dating. You can start chatting to people, making connections, making friends and then taking it offline, and I think it's a bit of a like. Some people like, oh, no, that's, I don't know, I don't want to try that or whatever. But actually I think in today's world especially, it is very difficult for people to meet genuine connections because we're just not out as much.

Speaker 2:

I love that. I think you know it's so important at every age to make new connections, isn't it? And to find people that you have those common interests with, and I think that we can really not prioritize that enough, like we put it to the bottom of our list. And I also think, in terms of business, when we're talking about networking, it doesn't have to be those formal events like, as you said, we met just, you know, having conversations, going to the gym together yeah so it can be, the opportunities can arise just through normal events and connecting with people and then sort of identifying that there's opportunities there with each other and seeing if that fits.

Speaker 2:

But I love that she's taking that initiative and, you know, just sort of putting herself out there and finding like-minded people, because I think it's so important and something we don't prioritize is, even if we have really good networks, that we can always have new friends, you know, and find new opportunities exactly, and I think it's like I think I'm a bit the opposite.

Speaker 1:

Actually, when I first came to Bali, I really was like pushing myself to attend every possible event out there and again. Another thing I realized in England is like, where I wasn't really going out at all. I was just a bit like no, I actually really like my quiet time and I like to just prioritize like what's really important to me and I'm going to say no to a lot of other stuff, um and just really figure out what my priorities are, the type of events or people or things that I'm interested in, and then just spend some time prioritizing that rather than just feeling like and I think when you move to a new place, it is important to do that like explore a bit and then figure out what works for you. But like now, I'm very much like I know what I want, I know what I like doing and I'm just going to focus my time on that rather than feeling completely overwhelmed with millions of things to do.

Speaker 2:

It's that balance, isn't it? And sometimes you don't like what you're sort of saying too, is that there isn't a need there for you right now. You know you have good networks, you have good friends. You're happy in your life. There's other things that you want to be doing, so you don't need to spend so much time focused on that one area For sure, and I think that's actually a really good learning.

Speaker 1:

It's like if there's a specific area of your life that you need support with or that you feel like you want to grow, then look into how a network or networking might be able to support you in that and might make you feel less alone in your journey. I think, especially with, like, freelancers and people who work for themselves, that can be quite an isolating journey and I think we're very much kind of go a bit insular and like just got to focus on the client work, got to focus on what we're doing. But actually having a network around you of other freelancers or other people in the industry in general can really help. Just yeah, help you think outside the box, help you feel less isolated, whatever it may be.

Speaker 2:

Absolutely, and sometimes that is just like putting yourself in a new environment, isn't it?

Speaker 2:

like it doesn't mean you have to go to a big networking event you can just be going to a co-working space or hopping out to a cafe, because it is about, I think, when you are working on your own, you're spending a lot of time on your own. You need those outlets for creativity, so it is just putting yourself in your environments with new people. But it doesn't have to be an environment where you know you're spending hours on a networking. It can just be an environment where you are cohabiting, cohabitating with people.

Speaker 1:

So you're in that co-working space and and even just hearing I think about people's work, even if it's completely different to yours, can spark creativity in new ways yeah, a hundred percent, and I think that's what we've lost a bit as well is that sort of brainstorming, um, and just sitting down as a team to really like.

Speaker 1:

You know you can do it online, but I just don't feel like that's the same and I think again when you're working for yourself or on your own. I mean chat GPT is a great tool for brainstorming, by the way, but like I love the kind of in-person connection of just throwing ideas back and forward, like getting inspiration by being outside, even like walking, and talking I really feel like helps encourage creativity in your brain and I think like there's so many running groups here and walking groups and book clubs and stuff, and it's sort of just figuring out like where, what, what feels good for me, what areas do I need a bit of support in, or want to surround myself in with people in and like, yeah, just sort of being brave and forcing yourself to go to them it's that pleasure and fulfillment, isn't it Like it's really doing those things that you actually want to do, I think, is so much better than going to some forced networking event.

Speaker 2:

So, as you said, whether it's like joining a hiking group or going walking together or surfing or whatever it may be, but putting yourself in places that maybe even also if you don't meet anyone, it's okay because you achieve something else. So you know, you feel good about the fact that you've done the walk and that's something that you that there's kind of a need that you had. I think it's thinking about things a little bit differently now, isn't it so sort of thinking about how can we do things that bring that joy and also meet other needs at the same time?

Speaker 1:

Yeah, and I think, like one of my passions in life is like creating communities. Like I'm just literally coming up and thinking in my head so many things like oh, I could create like a mum's walking group and like a freelance, like all these little mini events, and I do think I was literally exactly the same point. It's just like, let's think. I think before there was this real and I'm talking about it very much from a business perspective but there was this real thing about like there's going to be thousands of attendees, you can pay for this booth and get millions of returns and you know you can pay to be on the stage and speak in front of this target audience, blah, blah, blah. And of course, those things exist. But slowly I'm seeing a shift of like making them much more interactive, making it much more about kind of not it's not how much you pay and like you pay to play. Essentially, it's all about what the?

Speaker 1:

audience actually wants from those things and like getting a lot more kind of community feedback and like setting it up. So it's a bit more, perhaps smaller, but more specific to the niche, and I think that is really what people are looking for. Like time is such a precious commodity. Now people want to feel like I can go to an event, get some real value and come out, not have to spend three days at a conference hall trying to meet as many people as possible absolutely, and sometimes it's just doing it for fun, like our friday night drinks, is purely I am thinking do we need to?

Speaker 2:

change the name though yeah I do. I was trying to come up, yeah yeah, I do, I agree with that.

Speaker 1:

I think that's a good idea, especially after yeah, I do, I agree with that, I think that's a good idea, especially after January. What do they call it? Dry January? We'll come up with a name Because I also think like that concept of drinks or like meeting on a Friday to kind of round off the week.

Speaker 1:

It they are like, especially if you're a freelancer or working by yourself, you lose that sort of office camaraderie or that team camaraderie where you could probably all I mean, I remember that was my favorite part of the week just all going out after work and just sort of ending the week on a high. And I think that that sort of connection is so important. And yeah, exactly, it doesn't have to be around drinking, but it could just be like let's go and meet up and play some board games. Like that's one of my favorite things to do at the moment is just go to a board game cafe and sit around doing that. Or uh god, I sound like such a nerd now. Lego board. I was gonna speak. What am I doing? What am I go? Club, lego club, oh my god I would love that.

Speaker 1:

But yeah, or like. Uh, you know, I read this story the other day about a guy who used to go to the same cafe every day reading a book and like then someone else just sat with him and read the book together. Like it wasn't planned. He just sat with him to read his book and then over time the word has spread and now there's like 40 people who just come in every day or every couple of days reading their books. They might start having a chat, but it's not at all, but they're all just like enjoying it because they're kind of in a shared experience, isn't that so?

Speaker 2:

cute. I love that. I love that it's just so organic and it's just, you know, happened. And that shared space, I think it's not that we have to have a conversation, but we're just sharing the space together and being together.

Speaker 2:

That's so lovely. I love it. I've really enjoyed that conversation. I think you know the importance of networking has totally shifted in today's society and what we want and need from networking is really evolving and I'm so excited to see how that changes over time and I think it's really important to remember that. You know how that changes over time and I think it's really important to remember that. You know, networking is not just about finding new clients or finding new business. It's really about the connection, about those learning opportunities, that opportunity to learn from each other, to grow, to become more creative, to have that creativity sparked and really just to enjoy it, so really being able to do things we enjoy or enjoy the connection together.

Speaker 1:

I love that and I think it's really important just to, like, as you're going about your week, perhaps after listening to this episode, just really think about how you can foster those authentic connections, like even if it's just, you know, reaching out to an old colleague or attending a local event, like any interaction is an opportunity to build connections.

Speaker 1:

And I think that's definitely one thing I've learned is connections come from the randomest of places and, like a year from now, you could be looking at just the most beautiful friendships, the most beautiful business connections, and you'll just kind of think back to like how random it was, how they came about, but how amazing it had been. Um, so, yeah, we'd love to hear your networking experiences and, like any tips and stories you have about your good and bad experiences. Um, if you pop on to our social media, which all the links are below, um, and don't forget to join us next week. Um, and yeah, we'd love to hear from you guys. You're ready to create a life on your terms. Join us every week and make sure to like and subscribe to keep up to date with new episodes. All the links to keep in touch with us are in the bio.

People on this episode

Head Shot

Christina Gough

Host
Head Shot

Dr Katie Stirling

Host